It's been a few days since I left GSF. 5 to be exact. I am sitting at home, on my couch, on extremely fast internet, and feeling the cool from the air conditioning. It's weird to be here in my house and not running around GSF saying hello to people, doing work, going to Bible Study, hanging out with little African children all day. It's weird. I knew it would be hard to leave GSF and Uganda.. God taught me so much this summer. He brought me to so many places in my own heart that I didn't know existed. Some good things, some feelings and desires that I didn't know I know I had. Some bad things, some weaknesses that I didn't realize I had. Through everything though, I learned.
I learned that real honest love doesn't know smell, or color, or money, or anything like that. I learned that we should all love the way a child does; easily and totally. We should love like a child does because a child loves the way Jesus does. He loves each of us, even though our thoughts and actions and everything about us is wrong. He loves people that we think we can't love; the people that bother us or make us angry, He loves them just as much as He loves us. If we tried to model the love of Jesus, I think we would try to love a whole lot more, and a whole lot easier. By easier I mean unconditionally.
As we pulled away from GSF last Thursday, tears were pouring from my eyes. I felt so strange; I was ready to see my family and friends at home, but I genuinely was upset about leaving. My heart was hurting, and my stomach was in knots. I felt like I was leaving a piece of my heart in Uganda, and I realized that's exactly what I was doing. I was leaving a piece of my heart. But it's not one of those times where you give part of your heart away and you can never get it back. It's almost like the piece of my heart that's missing will be filled with the love that Jesus has given me. As long as I continue to love people, that place in my heart will be filled. And that love grows bigger and bigger until the place in my heart is not only filled, but my heart is bigger than before.
That's what real love does. It doesn't take parts of your heart away and keep them forever. It gives you more room to love even bigger and better than you did before. That love can only come from Jesus.
