Working in Admissions gives me the oppurtunity to sit in high school cafeterias, almost every week, and relive what it was like. -sidenote- I love love love my job. These are just thoughts that get brought to my attention while doing said job.
The cafeteria. It's what sticks out to me when I think of high school. I dreaded even thinking about what I was going to have to endure when I walked into the cafeteria. It was the year that my family moved back to the US, and the twin and I started at public school, in the 11th grade. I had a different lunch than my sister, and second semester, I was in a class with all freshmen (perks of having to take Mississippi Studies as a junior). I didn't have many friends at school to begin with, but that second semester? Whew. I had none in lunch with me. I sat at a table with the "weird kids," which wouldn't have been so bad, but they didn't talk to me either. I ate by myself most days. I brought a book sometimes. I even.. I'm ashamed to admit this.. I ate in the bathroom atleast twice. Total Mean Girls style. Yes, it's very sad. You can cry now.
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Finished? Okay good. Now this post isn't to dwell on my sad life my junior year of high school; I am confident in myself now and who I am. I don't even know that girl who didn't know how to make friends (I mean really?! What was I doing??). She is far removed from me, most of the time. I still have a hard time eating alone. Whatever. Anyways... I'm not writing to talk about my new found confidence either. I'm writing to high school girls everywhere ( I guess this can apply to boys too, but I don't understand you as much, so.. Good luck with that). So, if you're reading this and you're a high school girl, please keep reading. Or don't. I'm gonna give you some advice, and it might be dumb, but I feel like I need to say it. Here goes.
1. What you wear is not important. I know, I know. I like cool things too. When everyone around me had Chacos, I had to get some too. I used the fact that I was going to Uganda as an excuse to get them, and I got em. And yes, I really really want a pair of lace up boots too. You know, the cute ones that you can wear with wool socks and your skinnies?? SO COOL. I also totally want one of those cute little backpacks that look like you're going on an adventure. Absolutely no back support, but so adorable. I know all these things seem so important right now, and I don't think it's bad to want cute stuff. However, if you find yourself becoming jealous or envious of girls' things that you don't have, you have a problem. Getting upset over those cute lace up boots isn't worth it, and they're probably going to be out of style by next winter. Then what are you gonna do? Have to get the next thing, that's what. No. Stop. Focus on things that aren't temporary: friends, family, the ACT (I promise, it matters more than most things).. the list goes on and on.
2. If you don't take a picture of you and your friend hanging out, did it really happen? Yes, yes it did. Don't use every moment as an oppurtunity for your insta followers to see what you did, or what you wore, or who you were with. Just enjoy the time you have with your friend. You could be wasting important time by posting that insta or sending that tweet. It can wait. Or it can just not happen. That too. Hear me out, I'm not trying to be that weirdo person who hates social media. I LOVE IT. More than you, probably. And I know that's what instagram is for, to let people know what you're doing. But every moment? No. And I know that I have wasted time with my friends by browsing twitter or facebook instead of actually talking to them or listening to them. And I hate that I do that. I'm trying to be better at just being with people. You should try it too.
3. I know it may seem super cool to be the girl who only hangs out with guys. I agree with you, it seems super cool and I always wished I was you. But you know what? Girls need girls. I have great guy friends and I'm so thankful for them, but if I was with them all the time and didn't have my gal pals, I would completely go insane. Just no. And I know you must feel that way too. Boys are exhausting and don't really understand everything you're going through right now. Other girls do. If you don't have any gal pals, go get some. Seriously. This is not a drill.
4. Being mean never looked good on anyone. It's so easy to be mean now that we have texting, twitter, screenshotting, etc.. You can say anything to anyone that you would never dream of saying to their face, and you don't have to worry about how it hurt them. You can't see them. You can't see how they react. And contrary to popular opinion, words CAN hurt you. A lot. It hurts when someone makes fun of the way you dress. It hurts when someone talks about you behind your back. And it's embarrassing.
I don't care if all your friends talk about is other people. Don't join them. Find new friends.
5. Read your Bible. Yeah yeah yeah, I said it. But it's the truth. I barely picked up my Bible in high school, and I think a lot of my problems could have been solved if instead of complaining to God about how much my life sucked, I just read what he had already written to me. I can't stress this enough. It doesn't have to become a thing that you do simply because you have to. God knows your heart even before you bare it all to Him. He doesn't need your permission to know your life story; He knows it whether you like it or not. I think He just wants you to want Him in on the whole thing.
If all of this sounds typical, it's cause it is. Lots of people have said these things before me, and I'm sure lots more people will say them later. And if you don't think any of this applies to you, then great. You get an A+.
Oh, and one more thing. If you happen to be in your schools' cafeteria tomorrow, and someone is eating alone, invite them to sit with you. I promise they won't think you're weird. They will definitely be super embarassed and may even say no because they want you to think that they don't mind eating alone, but it doesn't hurt to ask.
-Ashley
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