Brokenness to Joy.

Wednesday, June 13^th, 2012.

         I was unexpectedly broken today. Up until today, I just enjoyed playing with the kids and seeing their big smiles. I guess hearing all the kids’ stories and how they came to GSF became too much today. It’s so overwhelming and hurtful. I came to that point (again) where I’m like, “Why God?” Seriously, why do these awful things happen to little precious children who had no control over what happened to them. Their parents died; their dad sexually abused them; they were abandoned; they got HIV from their parents who they no longer know or communicate with. I feel helpless about all of it, and so hurt. And I know these things happen all over the world, even where I live, and I feel more helpless. I know children in the States who only live with one parent because of divorce. Some have parents who are addicted to drugs, some have parents who are in prison. I see some of them and wonder if they are actually being cared for because their clothes are tattered and they look like they have not been bathed in days. I am constantly hurt and broken by this, and I wonder why God allows all of these terrible things to happen or exist at all. But, God always reminds me of this: He loves each and everyone of them. He loves His children in Africa. He loves His children in America, in India, in Russia, in Mexico, in the places unknown to me, everywhere. He loves every single one of His creations. He cherishes them, because He created them. There is evil and hurt and wrongdoing in the world, but God lifts us up out of that hurt and calls us His children. And He lets me know that it is not my job to fix every situation, or be sad all the time because of this hurt. He is the Master, Author, Healer, and Savior, and I must trust that His plan is best, even when I cannot understand it. I don’t like feeling broken, but brokenness leads to healing in Christ, and healing leads to joy.

            My joy comes from a little Arkansas girl in Sunday school understanding that Jesus loves her and wants her to show love to the people around her; it comes from hearing a little African girl yell “Auntie Ashley!!” across the playground and running into my arms after only knowing me for 3 days. My joy comes from knowing that Jesus Christ is sovereign in every part of the world, in every part of these little girl’s lives, and in every part of my life.

“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.” Jude, v. 24-25

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:7-12

“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’ And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.” Mark 10:13-16